Wow! What an incredible couple of weeks. I have been everywhere from Florida to Elkton Maryland to Nashville, TN. I have decided to just leave my suitcase out where I can get to it quickly.

God has been so awesome to me. He continually shows Himself faithful even when we don’t deserve it but I am learning more and more of how our life here is such a process and if we spend all of it worried about our failures or how others have failed us, we will lose out on the richness of what He wants us to enjoy in this life. I have decided that I don’t want to miss a thing.

I went to Florida a few weeks back and watched as my dad graduated from a two and a half year course for men at his church. I was so proud of his commitment to not only see the program through but to excel in all of his classes. At the end of the ceremony they called each man individually to the stage where they would bow on one knee and receive a beautiful sword as they declared there devotion to God and to other men who needed mentoring. I cried as I thought of how my dad grew up poor in the Appalachian Mt.’s and all that he has been through in life to overcome the obstacles that appeared before him. To me he set the greatest example of endurance as he studied hard to show himself approved and is willing to still find a place in ministry when he should be getting to enjoy his years in retirement. It impacted me to keep persevering no matter what the struggle.

Next I headed to Elkton, MD where I got to minister to a wonderful group of ladies. They have such great zeal to live for God that it encouraged me but as I prayed with them in the altars I was touched by how much pain and brokenness a lot of them were facing and I left with a burden for so many of them. I look forward to returning and seeing what God has done in their lives.

Then I was on to Nashville and enjoyed a few days relaxing. I love to get out and go see where all of the “music stars” live and if they ever catch me I’d imagine that they would think that I was stalking them. I guess if they did catch me…I would just ask them “what’s for breakfast?” I did have one evening of industry business and I had the wonderful opportunity of meeting with some incredibly talented people. I spoke with a man that had produced Dolly Parton a few years back and heard him speak of what great ministry he and his wife are involved in. I also met a gentleman that is the lead singer for a group called Pure Prairie League. I don’t know if you would remember the song the sang years ago that went something like…Amy what you gonna do? Anyhow, I immediately recognized it and was so impressed with how this man and his wife were with people. It just seemed to me that no matter what they have faced in life they were going to not only NOT give up but they would continue to knock on this door or that until the right ones opened.

I am so inspired by all of these weeks of travel because these are all folks that aren’t just staying in whatever situations they have faced or are facing but they have the courage to do more and see their lives totally fulfilled and that is just where I want to be. I don’t want to be in my senior years and blaming everything and everyone because my life didn’t seem fulfilled but I want to be like my dad and keep on growing, learning and marching on until I see my sweet Savior that loves me in all my imperfections and allows me to dust myself off when I fall and keep on going. I’M NOT QUITTING!

The past few months I have been living in the book of Psalms. I found myself praying the prayers that David prayed and just weeping before the Lord. You know, I found that just before God does something great for us He must do something great in us and that my friends can be very painful but He has left the outcome of that process up to us.

I would like to share with you what Psalms 32 says in the NLT. It is a little lengthy but I think it will set you free if you are willing.

Oh, what joy for those whose rebellion is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight!
Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!
When I refused to confess my sin, I was weak and miserable, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.
Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide them. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.
Therefore, let all the godly confess their rebellion to you while there is time, that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment.
For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory.

Wow, do I love this! I have been attending a women’s Bible study once a week and we are doing a Beth Moore study on the tabernacle and how it relates to a women’s heart…God’s dwelling place. She had us do an exercise that I found so freeing. So many times we confess our sins to God and believe that He has forgiven us but then a few weeks later we find ourselves repenting again when we have already turned away from the sin. The problem with that is we are only reconfirming our own unforgiveness. We can’t even lay it down because we can’t forgive ourselves. Beth had us shut our eyes and just confess everything to God. And I mean everything. All the hatred and animosity that we have held toward others. All of our anger and frustration. I don’t know about you but…I had a long list. He wants us to get everything out in full confession to Him and not try to hide behind it anymore. After she has us do that then we were to still keep our eyes closed and just picture God whispering in our ear…”I forgive you, I forgive you.” I began to cry as I thought of all the things we have been through lately and how deep I actually let wounds get to me and those sweet words from Him was all that I needed to hear. That whatever I have done wrong, when I honestly confess to Him…He whispers “I forgive you.”

In my imperfection, the simple act of forgiving so that I can be forgiven should be a no brainer. How about it friend? What are you holding up inside of you that you just haven’t quite confessed to God because you think you have a right to hold on to it? I think unless we let it go we can’t sing that song of victory like it says above or have that overwhelming sense of joy that only His forgiveness brings.

I awoke this morning with the thought of how “His mercies are new every morning”. Why aren’t mine? Lamentations 3:21-23says This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed because HIS compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is THY faithfulness. I mean, if God can look on me with a fresh outlook everyday knowing that at some point in the day I will probably screw up, why can’t I give myself that same break? Why can’t I give others that break? If I stepped back from all the situations I may be facing right now and really see things for what they are…they are nothing in light of who He is and I have to remind myself that what may bring tears to my eyes now won’t even matter when I stand in His presence.

So why do I war within myself? Why do I struggle trying to be what I think HE would want me to be instead of totally depending on that “mercy” everyday? Getting past sorrows, regrets and worries can be difficult for all of us but when we stop and think of all the things that we are forgiven for just in a simple day…why can’t we walk in complete forgiveness toward ourselves and others? I know that I am harder on myself that anyone else ever could be but at some point I have to learn to let the past be the past and trust Him for a great future. As for me, I choose to forgive so that I can be forgiven and I can grasp hold of that mercy that is new everyday. Really…are any of us all that perfect anyhow?

The hidden things of the heart and life will one day be revealed for what they really are and I pray that God grants me the honesty to deal with my stuff now so that I won’t be swimming in a life full of regret. I don’t know where He is taking me in this life but I know I will not allow myself to be sinking in a deep pit of despair when I know I can call on that mercy every morning.